august 9, 2010. 3:04am
a few things that i’m going to do. not that any of you really care…

• drink a hell of a lot more water.
• stop touching my face. so much dirt on my fingers! narstyyy.
• somehow get money to invest in a better skin-care regime.
• sleep more (this one will be the hardest to do…)
• eat healthier (this one might be equally as hard because of my current monetary situation)
• ace my interview and get that job at urban outfitters that i want so freaking badly.
• stop swearing so much/replace swear words with fruits (haha)
• start reading my entire collection of jane austin novels.
• clean my room until it’s spotless and sparkly! and devise a perfect organisation plan for all of my make-up/clothes/books etc.
• complete my summer to-do list! (this one won’t get done, but i can try!)
• you ;) heehee.

wish me luck!
- s

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august 12, 2010. 6:47am
i really haven’t been myself lately. i just feel so unhappy; as if something’s missing. i’m lonely as sin and it’s freaking me out because i’ve never been like this before. i feel like i have no one to fall back on. i feel so alone. all i need is someone to talk to. someone to hug me and actually let me cry over nothing. i’m tired of being strong, i’m tired of being that friend that everyone relies on. i want to be the center of attention for once. i want my problems to matter for once. i want you to look at me differently. i want you here with me. i just want you and it’s ridiculous and pointless for me to feel this way. nothing goes my way, and i feel like the world loves to take a massive shit on me. constantly. and before you think this is all over some boy, it really isn’t. partially, yes, but i’m just so done with me not mattering to anyone. i’m done being that friend you only talk to when you need someone. i’m done being that girl that you flirt with. i’m done. what’s it going to take to make people realise that i have things i need to get off me chest, too? what’s it going to take to make people that i’m not as strong as you think i am. i’m weak as fuck and i know this. i’m done. i need out. just take me away; i don’t ever want to look back.

the world isn’t about only you. get over yourselves.

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july 14, 2011. 10:41pm
i don’t know if this feeling is me being in love or is me wanting to know what it’s like to be in love. either way it feels terrible and wonderful and awesome. my heart literally aches for it but i just don’t think it’s possible. or it is and i just don’t know that i am. either way, it looks so beautiful.

i want that something beautiful with you. 
- s